In life your dreams may not come true, but sooner or later one of your nightmares will.

Success is made up of courage, brains, and luck. Since the first two are a function of the third, it's pretty much all luck.

There is no romance without some lying. That's what romance is - a little bit of Vaseline on the camera lens of life.

Imagine my surprise when it turned out the main thing that I was qualified for was to get another degree and teach Political Science to other people, who would, in turn, teach it to other people! This wasn't higher education, this was Amway with a football team!

We would need less gun control if we had better birth control.

There is an obesity epidemic. One out of every three Americans... weighs as much as the other two.

If you ever thought you were ugly, Los Angeles is the place to come and find out you were right.