I met a girl, we ate, we drank, had sex, got married, had affairs, broke up - God, what a night that was!

Michael Jackson is what happens when you keep fixin' it until it's broke!

Ridiculous that some people feel superior to the gay minority. They're the only couples you'll ever find poking around for ceramics and candle holders in the winery gift shop and both parties really want to be there.

We spend the second half of our life making up for the first half.

I think that's how Chicago got started. A bunch of people in New York said, 'Gee, I'm enjoying the crime and the poverty, but it just isn't cold enough. Let's go west.'

In New York, the principal leisure activity is internal bleeding.

I always look for a woman who has a tattoo. I see a woman with a tattoo, and I'm thinking, okay, here's a gal who's capable of making a decision she'll regret in the future.