I was brought up Catholic. My mom brought us to mass every Sunday - short for 'massive head trauma' that you get from your mother punching you in your little nine-year-old head every minute because you can't sit still for anything that's boring.

Spiritual is the word people use when they mean they want to be covered whey they die but they're not getting up early on a Sunday.

Lobsters one of the only animals that have to put up with being alive in the restaurant. If you go to a steakhouse, folks - no cow tank.

I think that's how Chicago got started. A bunch of people in New York said, 'Gee, I'm enjoying the crime and the poverty, but it just isn't cold enough. Let's go west.'

We spend the second half of our life making up for the first half.

Live each day as if it were the last day of your life because, so far, it is.

You should never die for your beliefs, because what if you're wrong?