We spend the second half of our life making up for the first half.

The way I see life, it's like we're all flying on the Hindenburg, why fight over the window seats?

When one guy sees an invisible man he's a nut case; ten people see him it's a cult; ten million people see him it's a respected religion.

If carrots are good for my eyes, how come I see so many dead rabbits on the highway?

Spiritual is the word people use when they mean they want to be covered whey they die but they're not getting up early on a Sunday.

We would need less gun control if we had better birth control.

Religious war at its simplest is killing each other over who has the best imaginary friend.