Nobody is really qualified to be the president. Basically it's an acting job. You have to act like you're the president. And every four years the country holds a big casting call.

To me, the acceptable level of fecal matter is... zero.

I think that's how Chicago got started. A bunch of people in New York said, 'Gee, I'm enjoying the crime and the poverty, but it just isn't cold enough. Let's go west.'

Michael Jackson is what happens when you keep fixin' it until it's broke!

Success is made up of courage, brains, and luck. Since the first two are a function of the third, it's pretty much all luck.

We spend the second half of our life making up for the first half.

Success is like toilet paper, it only seems important when you don't have it.