Ridiculous that some people feel superior to the gay minority. They're the only couples you'll ever find poking around for ceramics and candle holders in the winery gift shop and both parties really want to be there.

Lobsters one of the only animals that have to put up with being alive in the restaurant. If you go to a steakhouse, folks - no cow tank.

Spiritual is the word people use when they mean they want to be covered whey they die but they're not getting up early on a Sunday.

We spend the second half of our life making up for the first half.

Animals are happier than humans because they're like furry little existentialists, all living in the moment. Their collective motto: live fast, die young, and leave a good-looking pelt.

If you ever thought you were ugly, Los Angeles is the place to come and find out you were right.

Never fry bacon when you're naked.