Live each day as if it were the last day of your life because, so far, it is.

In life your dreams may not come true, but sooner or later one of your nightmares will.

In any relationship there are certain doors that should never be opened. The bathroom door, for example.

That's why you have to like a guy like Charles Manson. Say what you will about Manson - he's one of the only people with the decency to look like a dangerous maniac the first time you meet him.

It is a sad fact that 50 percent of marriages in this country end in divorce. But hey, the other half end in death. You could be one of the lucky ones!

Easiest job you could ever have... whoever gets to put Michael Jackson in a witness chair and create reasonable doubt.

Brooklyn is the only place where a guy can open up a candy store sell no candy and gross over eight million dollars a year.