Sports are an acceptable way for men to show emotion. A guy who won't hug his kid will slip a guy a tongue in a sports bar when his team wins.

In any relationship there are certain doors that should never be opened. The bathroom door, for example.

I'm catholic in the same way, that if a cow was born in a tree, it's a bird!

Why do women care about how big their feet are? I never saw a guy at the beach going, 'Wow, look at that woman, she is really... oh, darn! The feet are too big.'

There is an obesity epidemic. One out of every three Americans... weighs as much as the other two.

We spend the second half of our life making up for the first half.

If carrots are good for my eyes, how come I see so many dead rabbits on the highway?