We would need less gun control if we had better birth control.
In life your dreams may not come true, but sooner or later one of your nightmares will.
Michael Jackson is what happens when you keep fixin' it until it's broke!
Lobsters one of the only animals that have to put up with being alive in the restaurant. If you go to a steakhouse, folks - no cow tank.
In New York, the principal leisure activity is internal bleeding.
Why do women care about how big their feet are? I never saw a guy at the beach going, 'Wow, look at that woman, she is really... oh, darn! The feet are too big.'