If you ever thought you were ugly, Los Angeles is the place to come and find out you were right.

You know what the average person is? Average.

The way I see life, it's like we're all flying on the Hindenburg, why fight over the window seats?

If you ever thought you were ugly, Los Angeles is the place to come and find out you were right.

Seventy-five percent of all Americans believe that angels are real. Which is amazing when you consider that forty percent of all Americans think DNA evidence is unreliable.

Imagine my surprise when it turned out the main thing that I was qualified for was to get another degree and teach Political Science to other people, who would, in turn, teach it to other people! This wasn't higher education, this was Amway with a football team!

In any relationship there are certain doors that should never be opened. The bathroom door, for example.