Religious war at its simplest is killing each other over who has the best imaginary friend.

The only difference between the women I've dated and Charles Manson is that Manson has the decency to look like a nut case when you first meet him.

Fifty per cent of all marriages end in divorce. But look at the bright side: the other 50 per cent end in death.

Sports are an acceptable way for men to show emotion. A guy who won't hug his kid will slip a guy a tongue in a sports bar when his team wins.

Religious war at its simplest is killing each other over who has the best imaginary friend.

Imagine my surprise when it turned out the main thing that I was qualified for was to get another degree and teach Political Science to other people, who would, in turn, teach it to other people! This wasn't higher education, this was Amway with a football team!

In any relationship there are certain doors that should never be opened. The bathroom door, for example.