Live each day as if it were the last day of your life because, so far, it is.
It is a sad fact that 50 percent of marriages in this country end in divorce. But hey, the other half end in death. You could be one of the lucky ones!
America: Twenty million illegal aliens can't be wrong!
In New York, the principal leisure activity is internal bleeding.
In life your dreams may not come true, but sooner or later one of your nightmares will.
Never fry bacon when you're naked.