Brooklyn is the only place where a guy can open up a candy store sell no candy and gross over eight million dollars a year.

Live each day as if it were the last day of your life because, so far, it is.

In New York, the principal leisure activity is internal bleeding.

It is a sad fact that 50 percent of marriages in this country end in divorce. But hey, the other half end in death. You could be one of the lucky ones!

If you have a choice of selling shoes to ladies or giving birth to a flaming porcupine... look into that second, less painful career.

Fifty per cent of all marriages end in divorce. But look at the bright side: the other 50 per cent end in death.

Lobsters one of the only animals that have to put up with being alive in the restaurant. If you go to a steakhouse, folks - no cow tank.