Brooklyn is the only place where a guy can open up a candy store sell no candy and gross over eight million dollars a year.

I'm catholic in the same way, that if a cow was born in a tree, it's a bird!

Success is like toilet paper, it only seems important when you don't have it.

It is a sad fact that 50 percent of marriages in this country end in divorce. But hey, the other half end in death. You could be one of the lucky ones!

We would need less gun control if we had better birth control.

I always look for a woman who has a tattoo. I see a woman with a tattoo, and I'm thinking, okay, here's a gal who's capable of making a decision she'll regret in the future.

There is no romance without some lying. That's what romance is - a little bit of Vaseline on the camera lens of life.