There is no romance without some lying. That's what romance is - a little bit of Vaseline on the camera lens of life.

Sports are an acceptable way for men to show emotion. A guy who won't hug his kid will slip a guy a tongue in a sports bar when his team wins.

When one guy sees an invisible man he's a nut case; ten people see him it's a cult; ten million people see him it's a respected religion.

America: Twenty million illegal aliens can't be wrong!

If you have a choice of selling shoes to ladies or giving birth to a flaming porcupine... look into that second, less painful career.

I'm catholic in the same way, that if a cow was born in a tree, it's a bird!

Say whatever you want. But the United States has a kickass military and really good bullshit marketing people. If this country was a person it would be a used car salesman with a flamethrower.