Say whatever you want. But the United States has a kickass military and really good bullshit marketing people. If this country was a person it would be a used car salesman with a flamethrower.

Success is like toilet paper, it only seems important when you don't have it.

Live each day as if it were the last day of your life because, so far, it is.

Spiritual is the word people use when they mean they want to be covered whey they die but they're not getting up early on a Sunday.

Seventy-five percent of all Americans believe that angels are real. Which is amazing when you consider that forty percent of all Americans think DNA evidence is unreliable.

Brooklyn is the only place where a guy can open up a candy store sell no candy and gross over eight million dollars a year.

If carrots are good for my eyes, how come I see so many dead rabbits on the highway?