Say whatever you want. But the United States has a kickass military and really good bullshit marketing people. If this country was a person it would be a used car salesman with a flamethrower.

You know what the average person is? Average.

If carrots are good for my eyes, how come I see so many dead rabbits on the highway?

I met a girl, we ate, we drank, had sex, got married, had affairs, broke up - God, what a night that was!

Married or Single? There is no good choice. It's like when your doctor says, 'Ointment?' or 'Suppositories'?

We would need less gun control if we had better birth control.

Lobsters one of the only animals that have to put up with being alive in the restaurant. If you go to a steakhouse, folks - no cow tank.