I read recipes the same way I read science fiction. I get to the end and say to myself "well, that's not going to happen

I was a ballerina. I had to quit after I injured a groin muscle. It wasn't mine.

Men are self-confident because they grow up identifying with super-heroes. Women have bad self-images because they grow up identifying with Barbie.

All men are afraid of eyelash curlers. They don't understand them, and they don't want to get near them. I sleep with one under my pillow, instead of a gun.

In Hollywood a marriage is a success if it outlasts milk.

If you're dating a man who you think might be "Mr. Right," if he a) got older, b) got a new job, or c) visited a psychiatrist, you are in for a nasty surprise. The cocoon-to-butterfly theory only works on cocoons and butterflies.

All men would still really like to own a train set.