I read recipes the same way I read science fiction. I get to the end and say to myself "well, that's not going to happen

I was going to have cosmetic surgery until I noticed that the doctor's office was full of portraits by Picasso.

I want to have young children although my mother and father are even now young sufficient to just take care of them.

I just don't get cats. To me, they're a waste of fur.

The logic was, there weren't too many female comedians, so I thought I might as well try a field that had fewer competitors than the field I was in, which was acting, singing and dancing.

Men hate to lose. I once beat my husband at tennis. I asked him, "Are we going to have sex again?" He said, "Yes, but not with each other."

Men who consistently leave the toilet seat up secretly want women to get up to go the bathroom in the middle of the night and fall in.