I read recipes the same way I read science fiction. I get to the end and say to myself "well, that's not going to happen

I knew so little about money I used to sign my check, "Love, Rita."

Someday I want to be rich. Some people get so rich they lose all respect for humanity. That's how rich I want to be.

The word 'aerobics' came about when the gym instructors got together and said: If we're going to charge $10 an hour, we can't call it Jumping up and down.

I was a vegetarian until I started leaning toward the sunlight.

The way a man looks at himself in a mirror will tell you if he can ever care about anyone else.

I suffer from peroxide phobia. Every time I've gotten near a blond woman, something of mine has disappeared. Jobs, boyfriends... one time an angora sweater leaped right off my body.