I read recipes the same way I read science fiction. I get to the end and say to myself "well, that's not going to happen

I got kicked out of ballet class because I pulled a groin muscle. It wasn't mine.

Human nature is largely something that has to be overcome.

Eye contact is a method utilised by a single woman to communicate to a man that she is interested in him. Many women find it difficult to look a man directly in the eyes, not because of shyness, but because a woman's eyes are not located in her chest.

Her idea of a romantic setting is one that has a diamond in it. If you feel the need to marry a doctor, I suggest a dermatologist. Good hours, free Retin-A.

I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.

If a man prepares dinner for you and the salad contains three or more types of lettuce, he is serious.