I was a vegetarian until I started leaning toward the sunlight.

If a man prepares dinner for you and the salad contains three or more types of lettuce, he is serious.

I love to shop after a bad relationship. I don't know. I buy a new outfit and it makes me feel better. It just does. Sometimes I see a really great outfit, I'll break up with someone on purpose.

I worry about Las Vegas schools. I hear in math, they only teach them to count to 21.

Neurotics build castles in the air, psychotics live in them. My mother cleans them.

Her idea of a romantic setting is one that has a diamond in it. If you feel the need to marry a doctor, I suggest a dermatologist. Good hours, free Retin-A.

... life is broken down into these stages: you're born and you don't know how anything works; gradually you find out how everything works; technology evolves and slowly there are a few things you can't work; at the end, you don't know how anything works.