Men are very confident people. Even a sixty-year-old man with no arms thinks he could play in the Super Bowl if he had to.

I knew so little about money I used to sign my check, "Love, Rita."

I was going to have cosmetic surgery until I noticed that the doctor's office was full of portraits by Picasso.

If you buy your husband or boyfriend a video camera, for the first few weeks he has it, lock the door when you go to the bathroom. Most of my husband's early films end with a scream and a flush.

I know I want to have children while my parents are still young enough to take care of them.

Men do not like to admit to even momentary imperfection. My husband forgot the code to turn off the alarm. When the police came, he wouldn't admit he'd forgotten the code... he turned himself in.

After you've dated someone it should be legal to stamp them with what's wrong with them so the next person doesn't have to start from scratch.