I knew so little about money I used to sign my check, "Love, Rita."

Most women are introspective: "Am I in love? Am I emotionally and creatively fulfilled?" Most men are outrospective: "Did my team win? How's my car?"

My husband gave me a necklace. It's fake. I requested fake. Maybe I'm paranoid, but in this day and age, I don't want something around my neck that's worth more than my head.

It wasn't that no one asked me to the prom, it was that no one would tell me where it was.

Commitment is different in males and females. In females it is a desire to get married and raise a family. In males it means not picking up other women while out with one's girlfriend.

Men reach their sexual peak at eighteen. Women reach theirs at thirty-five. Do you get the feeling that God is playing a practical joke?

Marriages don't last. When I meet a guy, the first question I ask myself is: is this the man I want my children to spend their weekends with?