I knew so little about money I used to sign my check, "Love, Rita."

Going out to eat is expensive. I was out at one restaurant and they didn't have prices on the menu. Just faces with different expressions of horror.

Waiters and waitresses are becoming nicer and much more caring. I used to pay my check, they would say "Thank you." That's now escalated into "You care care of yourself, now." The other day I paid my check and the waiter said, "Don't put off that mammogram."

Men forget everything; women remember everything. That's why men need instant replay in sports. They've already forgotten what's happened.

Men who can eat anything they want and not gain weight should do it out of sight of the women they're married to.

Men accept compliments much better than women do. Example: "Mitch, you look great." Mitch: "Thanks." On the other side: "Ruth, you look great." Ruth: "I do? Must be the lighting."

Men don't live well by themselves. They don't even live like people. They live like bears with furniture.