I knew so little about money I used to sign my check, "Love, Rita."

Natural childbirth scares me. I think before you have natural childbirth you should find out how big the baby is. Three pounds -- natural childbirth. Anything over three pounds -- heroin.

Men own basketball teams. Every year cheerleaders' outfits get tighter and briefer, and players' shorts get baggier and longer.

When I was a kid, I had two friends, and they were imaginary and they would only play with each other.

I know I want to have children while my parents are still young enough to take care of them.

Halloween was confusing. All my life my parents said, "Never take candy from strangers." And then they dressed me up and said, "Go beg for it." I didn't know what to do. I'd knock on people's doors and go, "Trick or treat."

All men would still really like to own a train set.