Men are less sentimental than women. No man has ever seen the movie THE WAY WE WERE twice, voluntarily.

Eye contact is a method utilised by a single woman to communicate to a man that she is interested in him. Many women find it difficult to look a man directly in the eyes, not because of shyness, but because a woman's eyes are not located in her chest.

I have been doing leg lifts faithfully for about fifteen years, and the only thing that has gotten thinner is the carpet where I have been doing the leg lifts.

Husband: a man who buys his football tickets four months in advance and waits until the day before his anniversary to buy his wife a gift.

I worry about Las Vegas schools. I hear in math, they only teach them to count to 21.

Only men who have worn a ski suit understand how complicated it is for a woman to go to the bathroom when she's wearing a jumpsuit.

Men love to be the first to read the newspaper in the morning. Not being the first is upsetting to their psyches.