Impulse buying is not macho. Men rarely call the Home Shopping Network.

It takes six months to get into shape and two weeks to get out of shape. Once you know this you can stop being angry about other things in life and only be angry about this.

All men think that they're nice guys. Some of them are not. Contact me for a list of names.

There are different kinds of humor, some is sarcastic, some introspective. Introspective fit my personality better.

Cats are a waste of fur.

I'll never understand why people go to movie theaters to have conversations. Going to the movies to talk is like going to a restaurant to cook. The idea is that you have paid your money to have someone do something better than you can do it yourself.

Waiters and waitresses are becoming nicer and much more caring. I used to pay my check, they would say "Thank you." That's now escalated into "You care care of yourself, now." The other day I paid my check and the waiter said, "Don't put off that mammogram."