There are different kinds of humor, some is sarcastic, some introspective. Introspective fit my personality better.

I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.

I don't look back. I'm like a shark - I only look forward.

Oh, my God. I've just told you how old I am. Nobody knows how old I am. I'm going to have to kill you now.

My husband gave me a necklace. It's fake. I requested fake. Maybe I'm paranoid, but in this day and age, I don't want something around my neck that's worth more than my head.

Not one man in a beer commercial has a beerbelly.

Waiters and waitresses are becoming nicer and much more caring. I used to pay my check, they would say "Thank you." That's now escalated into "You care care of yourself, now." The other day I paid my check and the waiter said, "Don't put off that mammogram."