There are different kinds of humor, some is sarcastic, some introspective. Introspective fit my personality better.

My husband and I are either going to buy a dog or have a child. We can't decide whether to ruin our carpet or ruin our lives.

I jogged for three miles once. It was the worst three hours of my life.

When you're a dancer, you start with the basics. You don't all of a sudden do a grand jete and pirouette. You start with first position, second, third.

If you like easygoing, monogamous men, stay away from billionaires.

I suffer from peroxide phobia. Every time I've gotten near a blond woman, something of mine has disappeared. Jobs, boyfriends... one time an angora sweater leaped right off my body.

Men who write love letters don't live in this century.