It takes six months to get into shape and two weeks to get out of shape. Once you know this you can stop being angry about other things in life and only be angry about this.

I don't look back. I'm like a shark - I only look forward.

To attract men, I wear a perfume called 'New Car Interior.'

Some women hold up dresses that are so ugly and they always say the same thing: 'This looks much better on.' On what? On fire?

I rationalize shop. I buy a dress because I need change for gum.

I don't plan to grow old gracefully. I plan to have face-lifts until my ears meet.

You know the oxygen masks on airplanes? I don't think there's really any oxygen. I think they're just to muffle the screams.