All men think that they're nice guys. Some of them are not. Contact me for a list of names.

The time you spend grieving over a man should never exceed the amount of time you actually spent with him

My husband gave me a necklace. It's fake. I requested fake. Maybe I'm paranoid, but in this day and age, I don't want something around my neck that's worth more than my head.

Men have better self-images than women. You know what I've never seen in a men's magazine? A makeover.

If it's attention you want, don't get involved with a man during play-off season.

Women are more accommodating. If a woman drinks the last glass of apple juice in the refrigerator, she'll make more apple juice. If a man drinks the last glass of apple juice, he'll just put back the empty container.

I don't plan to grow old gracefully. I plan to have face-lifts until my ears meet.