Waiters and waitresses are becoming nicer and much more caring. I used to pay my check, they would say "Thank you." That's now escalated into "You care care of yourself, now." The other day I paid my check and the waiter said, "Don't put off that mammogram."

Women take clothing much more seriously than men. I've never seen a man walk into a party and say "Oh, my God, I'm so embarrassed; get me out of here. There's another man wearing a black tuxedo.

Men love to be the first to read the newspaper in the morning. Not being the first is upsetting to their psyches.

The way a man looks at himself in a mirror will tell you if he can ever care about anyone else.

Most of the men sitting in first class on an airplane have really boring jobs.

Some people think having large breasts makes a woman stupid. Actually, it's quite the opposite: a woman having large breasts makes men stupid.

I don't plan to grow old gracefully. I plan to have face-lifts until my ears meet.