You know the oxygen masks on airplanes? I don't think there's really any oxygen. I think they're just to muffle the screams.
I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult.
Men don't mature. Marry a younger one.
Men reach their sexual peak at eighteen. Women reach theirs at thirty-five. Do you get the feeling that God is playing a practical joke?
I was a vegetarian until I started leaning toward the sunlight.
Men who consistently leave the toilet seat up secretly want women to get up to go the bathroom in the middle of the night and fall in.