My mother was the worst cook ever. In school, when we traded lunches, I had to throw in an article of clothing.

Men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage - they've experienced pain and bought jewelry.

If you're dating a man who you think might be "Mr. Right," if he a) got older, b) got a new job, or c) visited a psychiatrist, you are in for a nasty surprise. The cocoon-to-butterfly theory only works on cocoons and butterflies.

Men are brave enough to go to war, but they are not brave enough to get a bikini wax.

If you buy your husband or boyfriend a video camera, for the first few weeks he has it, lock the door when you go to the bathroom. Most of my husband's early films end with a scream and a flush.

Men do cry, but only when assembling furniture.

Men who tell you they read the Ann Summers catalogue for the articles are lying