My mother was the worst cook ever. In school, when we traded lunches, I had to throw in an article of clothing.

Never take candy from strangers.

My Vegas act is how I make my money.

I'm a very simple person. I'm very shallow. Shallow, simple, easily pleased: that's me.

Men hate to lose. I once beat my husband at tennis. I asked him, "Are we going to have sex again?" He said, "Yes, but not with each other."

Men would like monogamy better if it sounded less like monotony.

You know it's love when you want to keep holding hands even after you're sweaty.