My mother was the worst cook ever. In school, when we traded lunches, I had to throw in an article of clothing.

I admire the Pope. I have a lot of respect for anyone who can tour without an album.

Buying something on sale is a very special feeling. In fact, the less I pay for something, the more it is worth to me. I have a dress that I paid so little for that I am afraid to wear it. I could spill something on it, and then how would I replace it for that amount of money?

Never play peek-a-boo with a child on a long plane trip. There's no end to the game. Finally I grabbed him by the bib and said, "Look, it's always gonna be me!"

I hate learning through experience. Just once I'd like to learn something because someone was nice enough to tell me in advance.

I suffer from peroxide phobia. Every time I've gotten near a blond woman, something of mine has disappeared. Jobs, boyfriends... one time an angora sweater leaped right off my body.

Men who listen to classical music tend not to spit.