Men would like monogamy better if it sounded less like monotony.

I get so happy when I write a joke. It's a very satisfying, liberating feeling.

Blondes have more fun, don't they? They must. How many brunettes do you see walking down the street with blond roots?

I read recipes the same way I read science fiction. I get to the end and say to myself "well, that's not going to happen

Most of the men sitting in first class on an airplane have really boring jobs.

If you're dating a man who you think might be "Mr. Right," if he a) got older, b) got a new job, or c) visited a psychiatrist, you are in for a nasty surprise. The cocoon-to-butterfly theory only works on cocoons and butterflies.

... life is broken down into these stages: you're born and you don't know how anything works; gradually you find out how everything works; technology evolves and slowly there are a few things you can't work; at the end, you don't know how anything works.