Men are sensitive in strange ways. If a man has built a fire and the last log does not burn, he will take it personally.

Los Angeles is a very transient town. It's the only place I know where you can actually rent a dog.

Men reach their sexual peak at eighteen. Women reach theirs at thirty-five. Do you get the feeling that God is playing a practical joke?

My cousin just got married for the totally wrong reasons. She married a man for money. She wasn't real subtle about it. Instead of calling him her fiancé, she kept calling him her financee.

Never take candy from strangers.

I want to have children, but my friends scare me. One of my friends told me she was in labor for 36 hours. I don't even want to do anything that feels good for 36 hours.

Men do cry, but only when assembling furniture.