My cousin just got married for the totally wrong reasons. She married a man for money. She wasn't real subtle about it. Instead of calling him her fiancé, she kept calling him her financee.

I have too many credit cards. You know what happened? Someone stole one and I didn't notice. I noticed when I got that bill. Whoa! It was so much less! I'm letting him keep it. I'm saving money!

How can I have morning sickness when I don't get up till noon?

The older theory was, marry an older man because they're more mature. But the new theory is men don't mature. Marry a younger one.

Going out to eat is expensive. I was out at one restaurant and they didn't have prices on the menu. Just faces with different expressions of horror.

Men who write love letters don't live in this century.

Not one man in a beer commercial has a beerbelly.