Los Angeles is a very transient town. It's the only place I know where you can actually rent a dog.

I loved my mother very much, but she was not a good cook. Most turkeys taste better the day after; my mother's tasted better the day before. In our house Thanksgiving was a time for sorrow.

I know I want to have children while my parents are still young enough to take care of them.

Men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage - they've experienced pain and bought jewelry.

Some people think having large breasts makes a woman stupid. Actually, it's quite the opposite: a woman having large breasts makes men stupid.

Men will now get up and walk with the baby in the middle of the night, change its diapers, and give it a bottle, but in their heart of hearts they still think they shouldn't have to.

All men think that they're nice guys. Some of them are not. Contact me for a list of names.