Los Angeles is a very transient town. It's the only place I know where you can actually rent a dog.

How come when you mix water and flour together you get glue...and then you add eggs and sugar and you get cake? Where does the glue go?

If your husband has difficulty getting to sleep, the words 'we need to talk about our relationship' may help.

Men hate to lose. I once beat my husband at tennis. I asked him, "Are we going to have sex again?" He said, "Yes, but not with each other."

A man will go to war, fight and die for his country. But he won't get a bikini wax.

Going out to eat is expensive. I was out at one restaurant and they didn't have prices on the menu. Just faces with different expressions of horror.

I suffer from peroxide phobia. Every time I've gotten near a blond woman, something of mine has disappeared. Jobs, boyfriends... one time an angora sweater leaped right off my body.