Men do cry, but only when assembling furniture.

I knew so little about money I used to sign my check, "Love, Rita."

Buying something on sale is a very special feeling. In fact, the less I pay for something, the more it is worth to me. I have a dress that I paid so little for that I am afraid to wear it. I could spill something on it, and then how would I replace it for that amount of money?

I paid attention to not being a comedian, and just concentrated on being who I was. That is what you have to do. If you say you are a comedian that has been done before. If you just be who you are then you are unique. Everyone is unique.

An amicable divorce is like a ventilated condom; it just doesn't work.

I want to have children, but my friends scare me. One of my friends told me she was in labor for 36 hours. I don't even want to do anything that feels good for 36 hours.

Los Angeles is a very transient town. It's the only place I know where you can actually rent a dog.