Men do cry, but only when assembling furniture.

I adore being hitched. It's so extraordinary to discover one unique individual you need to irritate for whatever remains of your life.

Wives are people who think it's against the law not to answer the phone when it rings.

How can I have morning sickness when I don't get up till noon?

Men reach their sexual peak at eighteen. Women reach theirs at thirty-five. Do you get the feeling that God is playing a practical joke?

How come when you mix water and flour together you get glue...and then you add eggs and sugar and you get cake? Where does the glue go?

I'm not sure if my husband is going to be there when I actually have the baby. He said the only way he's going to be in the room when there's a delivery is if there's a pizza involved.