Men do cry, but only when assembling furniture.

Women take clothing much more seriously than men. I've never seen a man walk into a party and say "Oh, my God, I'm so embarrassed; get me out of here. There's another man wearing a black tuxedo.

There is a woman who swam around Manhattan, and I asked her, why? She said, it hadn't ever been done before. Well, she didn't have to do that. If she wanted to something no one had ever done before, all she had to do was vacuum my apartment.

I knew so little about money I used to sign my check, "Love, Rita."

I have a hold limit that I've set for myself. I hold until I start to imagine myself killing the person on the other end. Then I hang up and regroup.

If I say a joke and the audience laughs it makes me feel good.

I was going to have cosmetic surgery until I noticed that the doctor's office was full of portraits by Picasso.