Men do cry, but only when assembling furniture.

I never panic when I get lost. I just change where it is I want to go.

I loved my mother very much, but she was not a good cook. Most turkeys taste better the day after; my mother's tasted better the day before. In our house Thanksgiving was a time for sorrow.

I love to shop after a bad relationship. I don't know. I buy a new outfit and it makes me feel better. It just does. Sometimes I see a really great outfit, I'll break up with someone on purpose.

I was a ballerina. I had to quit after I injured a groin muscle. It wasn't mine.

My grandmother was a very tough woman. She buried three husbands and two of them were just napping.

How can I have morning sickness when I don't get up till noon?