Men reach their sexual peak at eighteen. Women reach theirs at thirty-five. Do you get the feeling that God is playing a practical joke?

I just don't get cats. To me, they're a waste of fur.

Men are sensitive in strange ways. If a man has built a fire and the last log does not burn, he will take it personally.

I'm not sure if my husband is going to be there when I actually have the baby. He said the only way he's going to be in the room when there's a delivery is if there's a pizza involved.

Men hate to lose. I once beat my husband at tennis. I asked him, "Are we going to have sex again?" He said, "Yes, but not with each other."

I had the most boring office job in the world...I used to clean the windows on envelopes.

Men like phones with lots of buttons. It makes them feel important.