I don't plan to grow old gracefully. I plan to have face-lifts until my ears meet.

My father watched football with the sound off because he lived in fear of hearing the voice of Howard Cosell.

If you buy your husband or boyfriend a video camera, for the first few weeks he has it, lock the door when you go to the bathroom. Most of my husband's early films end with a scream and a flush.

In Hollywood a marriage is a success if it outlasts milk.

After you've dated someone it should be legal to stamp them with what's wrong with them so the next person doesn't have to start from scratch.

Men hate to lose. I once beat my husband at tennis. I asked him, "Are we going to have sex again?" He said, "Yes, but not with each other."

I don't plan to grow old gracefully. I plan to have face-lifts until my ears meet.