Yes, I've now got this nice little apartment in New York, one of those L-shaped ones. Unfortunately, it's a lower case l.

I want to have children, but my friends scare me. One of my friends told me she was in labor for 36 hours. I don't even want to do anything that feels good for 36 hours.

When I was a kid, I had two friends, and they were imaginary and they would only play with each other.

It wasn't that no one asked me to the prom, it was that no one would tell me where it was.

Men don't mature. Marry a younger one.

Men own basketball teams. Every year cheerleaders' outfits get tighter and briefer, and players' shorts get baggier and longer.

Cats are a waste of fur.