Men have better self-images than women. You know what I've never seen in a men's magazine? A makeover.
If you like easygoing, monogamous men, stay away from billionaires.
If I say a joke and the audience laughs it makes me feel good.
I suffer from peroxide phobia. Every time I've gotten near a blond woman, something of mine has disappeared. Jobs, boyfriends... one time an angora sweater leaped right off my body.
I'm a very simple person. I'm very shallow. Shallow, simple, easily pleased: that's me.
Men who can eat anything they want and not gain weight should do it out of sight of the women they're married to.