Don't try to teach men how to do anything in public. They can learn in private; in public they have to know.

I want to have children, but my friends scare me. One of my friends told me she was in labor for 36 hours. I don't even want to do anything that feels good for 36 hours.

They usually have two tellers in my local bank, except when it's very busy, when they have one.

My mother is such a lousy cook that Thanksgiving at her house is a time of sorrow.

Buying something on sale is a very special feeling. In fact, the less I pay for something, the more it is worth to me. I have a dress that I paid so little for that I am afraid to wear it. I could spill something on it, and then how would I replace it for that amount of money?

I don't plan to grow old gracefully. I plan to have face-lifts until my ears meet.

I don't think jogging is healthy, especially morning jogging. If morning joggers knew how tempting they looked to morning motorists, they would stay home and do sit-ups.