Don't try to teach men how to do anything in public. They can learn in private; in public they have to know.

I was a ballerina. I had to quit after I injured a groin muscle. It wasn't mine.

Men do cry, but only when assembling furniture.

I loved my mother very much, but she was not a good cook. Most turkeys taste better the day after; my mother's tasted better the day before. In our house Thanksgiving was a time for sorrow.

Men who write love letters don't live in this century.

The word 'aerobics' came about when the gym instructors got together and said: If we're going to charge $10 an hour, we can't call it Jumping up and down.

My mother is such a lousy cook that Thanksgiving at her house is a time of sorrow.