I like whomever to come to my shows. I want people who want to see me to come see me. I don't want to force people. I don't want it to feel like a job!
I get so happy when I write a joke. It's a very satisfying, liberating feeling.
Blondes have more fun, don't they? They must. How many brunettes do you see walking down the street with blond roots?
When men break up they want to remain friends. Why? Why can't they just get lost?
A man will go to war, fight and die for his country. But he won't get a bikini wax.
How come when you mix water and flour together you get glue...and then you add eggs and sugar and you get cake? Where does the glue go?