Before I met my husband, I'd never fallen in love. I'd stepped in it a few times.

All men are afraid of eyelash curlers. They don't understand them, and they don't want to get near them. I sleep with one under my pillow, instead of a gun.

Good weather all the week, but come the weekend the weather stinks. When the weather is too hot they complain, too cold they complain, and when it's just right, they're watching TV.

I was a ballerina. I had to quit after I injured a groin muscle. It wasn't mine.

Yes, I've now got this nice little apartment in New York, one of those L-shaped ones. Unfortunately, it's a lower case l.

Men own basketball teams. Every year cheerleaders' outfits get tighter and briefer, and players' shorts get baggier and longer.

Most turkeys taste better the day after; my mother's tasted better the day before.