Men forget everything; women remember everything. That's why men need instant replay in sports. They've already forgotten what's happened.

I was a vegetarian until I started leaning toward the sunlight.

I suffer from peroxide phobia. Every time I've gotten near a blond woman, something of mine has disappeared. Jobs, boyfriends... one time an angora sweater leaped right off my body.

I want to have young children although my mother and father are even now young sufficient to just take care of them.

Some women hold up dresses that are so ugly and they always say the same thing: 'This looks much better on.' On what? On fire?

A man will go to war, fight and die for his country. But he won't get a bikini wax.

Men do not like to admit to even momentary imperfection. My husband forgot the code to turn off the alarm. When the police came, he wouldn't admit he'd forgotten the code... he turned himself in.