If I say a joke and the audience laughs it makes me feel good.

If a man prepares dinner for you and the salad contains three or more types of lettuce, he is serious.

I love to shop after a bad relationship. I don't know. I buy a new outfit and it makes me feel better. It just does. Sometimes I see a really great outfit, I'll break up with someone on purpose.

My mother is such a lousy cook that Thanksgiving at her house is a time of sorrow.

My parents were glad to see that my new husband looks like a 'regular guy'-no earring or anything. But really I think a man with an earring is better prepared for marriage. I mean, he's already experienced pain and bought jewelry.

I was going to have cosmetic surgery until I noticed that the doctor's office was full of portraits by Picasso.

Buying something on sale is a very special feeling. In fact, the less I pay for something, the more it is worth to me.