I have a hold limit that I've set for myself. I hold until I start to imagine myself killing the person on the other end. Then I hang up and regroup.

Not one man in a beer commercial has a beerbelly.

I like whomever to come to my shows. I want people who want to see me to come see me. I don't want to force people. I don't want it to feel like a job!

Be careful of men who are bald and rich; the arrogance of "rich" usually cancels out the nice of "bald".

Men would like monogamy better if it sounded less like monotony.

I get a lot of return business. I think it's all those years I put in traveling around the country; people saw me before and had a good time so they want to see me again.

When a woman tries on clothing from her closet that feels tight, she will assume she has gained weight. When a man tries something from his closet that feels tight, he will assume the clothing has shrunk.