Men who tell you they read the Ann Summers catalogue for the articles are lying

Women are more accommodating. If a woman drinks the last glass of apple juice in the refrigerator, she'll make more apple juice. If a man drinks the last glass of apple juice, he'll just put back the empty container.

I want to have children, but my friends scare me. One of my friends told me she was in labor for 36 hours. I don't even want to do anything that feels good for 36 hours.

They usually have two tellers in my local bank, except when it's very busy, when they have one.

Men who listen to classical music tend not to spit.

My mother is such a lousy cook that Thanksgiving at her house is a time of sorrow.

Impulse buying is not macho. Men rarely call the Home Shopping Network.