Life is tough enough without having someone kick you from the inside.

My cousin just got married for the totally wrong reasons. She married a man for money. She wasn't real subtle about it. Instead of calling him her fiancé, she kept calling him her financee.

I was going with someone for a few years, but we broke up. It was one of those things. He wanted to get married, and I didn't want him to.

Be careful of men who are bald and rich; the arrogance of "rich" usually cancels out the nice of "bald".

I'm not sure if my husband is going to be there when I actually have the baby. He said the only way he's going to be in the room when there's a delivery is if there's a pizza involved.

I burned sixty calories. That should take care of a peanut I had in 1962.

After you've dated someone it should be legal to stamp them with what's wrong with them so the next person doesn't have to start from scratch.