I just don't get cats. To me, they're a waste of fur.

I got kicked out of ballet class because I pulled a groin muscle. It wasn't mine.

Some women hold up dresses that are so ugly and they always say the same thing: 'This looks much better on.' On what? On fire?

Men don't mature. Marry a younger one.

The word 'aerobics' came about when the gym instructors got together and said: If we're going to charge $10 an hour, we can't call it Jumping up and down.

Blondes have more fun, don't they? They must. How many brunettes do you see walking down the street with blond roots?

I just don't get cats. To me, they're a waste of fur.