Oh, my God. I've just told you how old I am. Nobody knows how old I am. I'm going to have to kill you now.

Most of the men sitting in first class on an airplane have really boring jobs.

I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult.

You know the oxygen masks on airplanes? I don't think there's really any oxygen. I think they're just to muffle the screams.

I get a lot of return business. I think it's all those years I put in traveling around the country; people saw me before and had a good time so they want to see me again.

Oh, my God. I've just told you how old I am. Nobody knows how old I am. I'm going to have to kill you now.

Neurotics build castles in the air, psychotics live in them. My mother cleans them.