I don't look back. I'm like a shark - I only look forward.

Men hate to lose. I once beat my husband at tennis. I asked him, "Are we going to have sex again?" He said, "Yes, but not with each other."

My father watched football with the sound off because he lived in fear of hearing the voice of Howard Cosell.

If you buy your husband or boyfriend a video camera, for the first few weeks he has it, lock the door when you go to the bathroom. Most of my husband's early films end with a scream and a flush.

Women take clothing much more seriously than men. I've never seen a man walk into a party and say "Oh, my God, I'm so embarrassed; get me out of here. There's another man wearing a black tuxedo.

I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult.

Men are sensitive in strange ways. If a man has built a fire and the last log does not burn, he will take it personally.