If you buy your husband or boyfriend a video camera, for the first few weeks he has it, lock the door when you go to the bathroom. Most of my husband's early films end with a scream and a flush.

I like whomever to come to my shows. I want people who want to see me to come see me. I don't want to force people. I don't want it to feel like a job!

At the end of every year, I add up the time that I have spent on the phone on hold and subtract it from my age. I don't count that time as really living. I spend more and more time on hold each year. By the time I die, I'm going to be quite young.

Men who are going bald often wear baseball caps.

My grandmother was a very tough woman. She buried three husbands and two of them were just napping.

Going out to eat is expensive. I was out at one restaurant and they didn't have prices on the menu. Just faces with different expressions of horror.

Human nature is largely something that has to be overcome.