Husband: a man who buys his football tickets four months in advance and waits until the day before his anniversary to buy his wife a gift.
One of my first office jobs was cleaning the windows on brown envelopes.
I got kicked out of ballet class because I pulled a groin muscle. It wasn't mine.
I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult.
The way a man looks at himself in a mirror will tell you if he can ever care about anyone else.
I started taking ballet lessons when I was 4, and I was performing in ballet companies when I was 10, and I did summer stock in Miami Beach when I was 12, and finally I said, 'I gotta go to Broadway.'