I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult.

Los Angeles is a very transient town. It's the only place I know where you can actually rent a dog.

The time you spend grieving over a man should never exceed the amount of time you actually spent with him

All men look nerdy in black socks and sandals.

Husband: a man who buys his football tickets four months in advance and waits until the day before his anniversary to buy his wife a gift.

Oh, my God. I've just told you how old I am. Nobody knows how old I am. I'm going to have to kill you now.

Not one man in a beer commercial has a beerbelly.