I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.

I rationalize shop. I buy a dress because I need change for gum.

Men who are going bald often wear baseball caps.

I have too many credit cards. You know what happened? Someone stole one and I didn't notice. I noticed when I got that bill. Whoa! It was so much less! I'm letting him keep it. I'm saving money!

Men are less sentimental than women. No man has ever seen the movie THE WAY WE WERE twice, voluntarily.

Marriages don't last. When I meet a guy, the first question I ask myself is: is this the man I want my children to spend their weekends with?

If you buy your husband or boyfriend a video camera, for the first few weeks he has it, lock the door when you go to the bathroom. Most of my husband's early films end with a scream and a flush.