I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.

The word 'aerobics' came about when the gym instructors got together and said: If we're going to charge $10 an hour, we can't call it Jumping up and down.

Men don't live well by themselves. They don't even live like people. They live like bears with furniture.

It wasn't that no one asked me to the prom, it was that no one would tell me where it was.

Men have better self-images than women. You know what I've never seen in a men's magazine? A makeover.

How can I have morning sickness when I don't get up till noon?

Not one man in a beer commercial has a beerbelly.