Men love to be the first to read the newspaper in the morning. Not being the first is upsetting to their psyches.

I can see close up and my husband can see far away, so we're covered. He tells me who's in the movie and I tell him what's in his sandwich. Together we're human bifocals.

In high school I was voted the girl most likely to become a nun. That may not be impressive to you, but it was quite an accomplishment at the Hebrew Academy.

How come when you mix water and flour together you get glue...and then you add eggs and sugar and you get cake? Where does the glue go?

You know it's love when you want to keep holding hands even after you're sweaty.

Be careful of men who are bald and rich; the arrogance of "rich" usually cancels out the nice of "bald".

Halloween was confusing. All my life my parents said, "Never take candy from strangers." And then they dressed me up and said, "Go beg for it." I didn't know what to do. I'd knock on people's doors and go, "Trick or treat."