Most turkeys taste better the day after; my mother's tasted better the day before.
After you've dated someone it should be legal to stamp them with what's wrong with them so the next person doesn't have to start from scratch.
One of my first office jobs was cleaning the windows on brown envelopes.
Men who listen to classical music tend not to spit.
If it's attention you want, don't get involved with a man during play-off season.
Life is tough enough without having someone kick you from the inside.