My parents always told me I could do anything, but never told me how long it would take

All men look at Dr. Ruth and wonder how she has gained all that sexual experience.

Going out to eat is expensive. I was out at one restaurant and they didn't have prices on the menu. Just faces with different expressions of horror.

I knew so little about money I used to sign my check, "Love, Rita."

All men are afraid of eyelash curlers. They don't understand them, and they don't want to get near them. I sleep with one under my pillow, instead of a gun.

My parents always told me I could do anything, but never told me how long it would take

I rationalize shop. I buy a dress because I need change for gum.